Don’t worry, Rubber Ducky. The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

Things I’ve learned this week: Baby hacks! Like keeping extra bottles made up in the fridge so you don’t have to pour them one handed. Wiping the baby’s face first *and* then high chair with the same washcloth post-squash squishing/eating session.

How much squash could a   baby squish if a baby could squish squash?
How much squash could a baby squish if a baby could squish squash?

Eucerin on the baby’s face *and* my knuckles – “a little for you, a little for me” (a la Joan Rivers and Miss Piggy in Muppets Take Manhattan).

The best baby hack has been Pandora stations when my voice gets scratchy and my memory-arsenal of every song ever runs low. Actually, the Pandora stations – lullabies, kid music, etc- have been pretty revolutionary. Laurie Berkner Band, Caspar Babypants, Raffi and Elizabeth Mitchell are my good friends now. Also, the Pandora algorithm analyzed my “likes” to add in a bunch of 1950’s doo-wop music, plus Michael Franti, Bobby McFerrin and other excellent baby rockin’ tunes. The lullabies have drifted mostly into New-Age piano instrumental music and 54 covers of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.”

We have a new nanny in the pipeline (yay!) and a babysitter here today to give grown-ups a break from baby-wrangling (also yay!). My nephew: “You people are obviously amateurs, but you may be slightly improving.”
Parents (mine, friends who are parents, ancestors), I salute you! This is a crazy ass job. I am so tired, my brain is barely functional (though hoping blogging today will help kickstart some neurons), my social interactions consist of singing “Rubber Ducky” and making encouraging comments about poops (“Excellent, baby prunes, you are doing a fantastic job!”) Seeking other non-baby company has resulted in ridiculous Facebook quests for validation (“My post about the fat-free half and half just got 37 likes!”)

And this: In Madeleine L’Engle’s classic novel “A Wrinkle in Time,” the children encounter a fuzzy, purple alien named “Aunt Beast” who cuddles them and gives them delicious food. I am Aunt Beast. I think she might also have tentacles, but I don’t have a copy of the book handy to check.

Slippers with non-skid soles!
Slippers with non-skid soles!

I have completely fallen off the blogging 101 bandwagon, but maybe I can pick up the next iteration of the class. Meanwhile, my goal of learning how to use copyrighted works and creative commons works in an ethically-sourced & properly documented fashion has also been back-burnered. (Linking seems to be okay, reposting gifs seems to be iffy – which made me sad because I found a great one of Miss Piggy & Joan Rivers.) I also have been experimenting with the Feedly RSS Reader, in addition to the WordPress Reader.

We are staring down the barrel of a winter storm threatening to clobber New England with massive amounts of snow. Luckily, we have the French Toast Alert System to keep up us updated on purchasing milk, eggs and bread. A little disappointed that Mr. Baby is still too little to go out in the snow – I had visions of snow forts and baby wiggles in snowsuits. The reality would be more like, “Why do you do this to me, Auntie Bat? I’m cold and wet and can’t move my arms!”


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